Buy Our Stuff!
by ShinAyasaki
Summary: A slightly more erotic parody of the You hat commercial.


**AN: If you've yet to behold the awesomeness that is the You hat commercial, you can find it subbed on youtube by shukamod. Just look for "Uranohoshi Online Shopping Program Vol 2".**

* * *

Chika and Riko lay beneath the covers of a large king-sized bed, each girl breathing heavily as they clutched the blanket over them, faces scarlet and sweaty with exertion. Three sets of clothes were scattered all over the floor, though one of their skirts had somehow been draped over the desk lamp, and someone's panties hung from the chandelier.

You stepped out of the bathroom wearing a soft blue robe, smiling slyly as she gazed at her girlfriends with desire. "Ready for round 11?" she asked rhetorically as she practically jumped on the bed between them. She reached out to pull the blanket from her girlfriends' grips when a hand shot out and grabbed her.

"You-chan, stop!" said Riko. "We... we're too exhausted to go on!" she huffed out.

"Really?!" You looked to Chika for confirmation and, much to You's disappointment, she gave a tired nod in agreement. "Aww..." She sat back with a pout.

"You-chan, how do you have so much stamina? It's practically inhuman!" exclaimed the ginger.

"Not really," said You. "I get all the energy I could ever need from this simple little hat!" She smiled winningly, pointing at the white and yellow hat she wore emblazoned with the letters YOU on the front.

Riko blinked. "From... your hat?"

The brunette nodded. "Yep! It's pretty cool, right?" She took it off and held it up, showing it off to her girlfriends. "It's an eye-catching yellow color, and the letters Y, O, U form my own personal logo right in the center! Isn't it super fashionable?!"

Chika and Riko lay there in silence for a few seconds, contemplating. Riko wasn't quite sure what was going on, but Chika was more than willing to ride the You train. (In a non-sexual way for once.)

"You're totally right!" exclaimed Chika, moving to a seated position. One arm still held the blanket around her chest tightly. "I really want one now!"

As You beamed in pride, Riko slowly turned and shot an incredulous look at Chika. "I'll keep that in mind for your birthday," she remarked, "But there's no way either of us would be able to get one of these, right?"

"But now you can!" shouted You, pulling out an identical hat from thin air. She replaced the hat on her head, then extended the second to Chika.

"Wow! Thanks You-chan!" said Chika, marveling at its fine detailing.

"Why do you have two?" asked Riko.

"You know how it goes," replied You. "One to wear, one to preserve, and one to spread the fashion!"

Riko didn't know what to say to that.

"WHOA!" cried Chika as she donned the hat, "This is amazing! Somehow I feel alive again!" She started vibrating in excitement, much to You's satisfaction and Riko's worry. "When I'm wearing this hat, I feel like I'm overflowing with energy! Like... Like...!" She thrust her hand in the air and made a victory sign. "YOUSORO~!"

"YOUSORO~!" echoed You.

"YOUCHIKA~!"

"YOURIKO~!"

"You-chan, you look super stylish!"

"Chika-chan, so do you!"

Chika and You literally bounced up and down on the mattress in happiness, elation, and general genkiness, much to Riko's growing concern.

"I feel like I could go another 10 rounds with this!" declared Chika.

"Me too!" agreed You.

Simultaneously, they turned to look at Riko.

"...Five minute break?" she suggested timidly.

They jumped her anyway.

* * *

Later...

Riko groaned loudly as she sat under the kotatsu in her own pink bathrobe, head resting on her arms. "Seventy four times..." she lamented. "I can't feel my legs..."

"And that's not all!" said You to a very enthused Chika. "There's also this spectacular pen!"

Chika gasped in delight. "The hat itself is already amazing, and in addition to that you're also including a p-p-p-p-pen?! Is it okay to be this generous?!"

"Of course!" declared You ecstatically, "It's for my birthday you know! But there's still one more surprise in store! The pen has Riko-chan on the side, and if you turn it upside down, her clothes fall off! Allow me to demonstr-"

"DON'T YOU DARE!" bellowed Riko as she tackled the brunette to the ground.

As You and Riko rolled around the floor wrestling, the camera shifted to Chika's sheepish yet amused face as she took over for You.

"Pre-orders open on Wednesday, February 30th at 11:59pm and will close exactly one week later, so please pre-order as soon as possible!"

 _This program was brought to you by Ohara Hotels & Resorts. No, you cannot book the room they used for this commercial, it's being cleaned. Thoroughly._

 _With fire._


End file.
